Not only is there no there there,
there’s little hair there either.
As we can very plainly see,
it’s the face of the immoral majority,
the baldfaced lie of the “billionaire.”
The nightmare of the American Dream
of men who cheat and scheme
to get there fast and stay ahead,
to prove they’re not a blockhead,
though that’s what they patently seem.
America, one nation under God,
where true religion is a fraud
and virtue is a will-o’-the-wisp,
a bowl of Kroger’s Honey Crisp,
which should be outlawed.
There’s no honey in it, first of all,
anymore than there’s beauty in a mall
or Gallic lilt in the phrase “cellar door,”
or a Walden Pond in a cuspidor,
or a trace of Elizabethan in “y’all.”
And as for the putative crispness
of Honey Crisp, there’s more or less
of that than in the freshly printed
dollar bills that are freshly minted
for ill-gotten gains that businesses
like Kroger’s make marketing
sugar, salt, and fat, targeting
toddlers, teens, and obese gals
who are waddling testimonials
to the efficacy of consumer vetting.
What’s this to do with a president
whose vanity’s without precedent?
it shows how far a “billionaire”
will go to hide his lack of hair
of which there's barely one percent.